I am half asleep and half awake.
I am half dead and half alive,
Half full and half empty;
Half Mankind and half beast…
I feel incomplete…
There is a part of me that is thirsty
Another part of me that hates water,
Coz the world of water in the womb
Became your chosen tomb.
I held his fragile body,
Heard his heart beat…
I have enjoyed his imaginary giggles
The warmth of his breath..
We met in an imaginary world
There we departed and separated.
I shook your tiny hand and felt your tight grip
Its time to let go. I set you free my child.
Go on ahead of us my child.
Your mama and I will follow after you.
Go on ahead of us Siya. You have that name eternally.
Today you are crowned king of the living.
May that name be the flame
That burns all shame of loss.
Life will no longer be the same.
Your mom and I still bleed internally.
Our wounds mark your grave and throne in our hearts.
Your name engraved permanently not in stone but in our hearts of flesh.
There your majestic and fragile body safely rests.
Away from the cold soil that decomposes ordinary beings.
Yet such such soil is not fit for kings.
Today you are bing enthroned as king of the living.
Such soil infested with creeping creatures exposed to the elements
that feast on the flesh of ordinary people was not worthy of you.
Rest in peace Shobane…
Though we never kissed, but your name shall not depart from our lips.
I vow to call your name when an unkind word forces its way out of my lips,
When provoked ideologically
I will remember you and overlook accusations,
Insults and all forms of mock.
Your presence was unannounced.
Your absence was like a dream that came to pass.
Rest enthroned dream child. You forever live in our hearts and whisper in our dreams.
As you lay in silence my son take my anger and throw it in the ocean.
And as a sign that you did that let the waves be calm each time I call your name..
Siyamthanda was always destined for fame.
This poem shall be heard
Siyamthanda…your name shall be immortal
Rest in peace Shobane, Mwelase; Zombode;
Mbongwa, Qomazitha… Mbuyisa, Mkholo lonsundu
Who knows maybe we will love better
beyond the grave where only the brave rest in peace.
And when I fondly suck your mom’s breast
I will remember you and who knows….
Maybe you will notice and smile…
May this poem be the best and the most treasured gift
that you and I could give to her.
May she always remember
that she shares a birthday with her own son who never saw the sun.
Yet each time she celebrates her birthday,
She will light that candle for you too.
We will always love you… Siya
Rest in peace boy…in our minds you will be our boy.
Siya in this house your name will live on.
Don’t cry boy even though I am.
Don’t cry son even though your mom may be.
This world was unworthy of you.
We cry not in sorrow.
We dare not borrow any sorrow.
You are our own flesh and blood
Now turn and go…
Don’t let that smile disappear…
Your mom left the Hospital empty handed
But not empty hearted…
She lives on, and so do I.
So don’t cry boy.
You are our own angel in the sky
Whose name is written in our hearts
Rest in peace son…
Ruler and king of your own fate.
About the Author:
Vusumuzi DS Makhubo was born in Standerton (Mpumalanga Province, South Africa) on the 5th of December 1979. He comes from a warm and loving family that supported him in everything he attempted. He currently lives and works between Johannesburg and Pretoria. He worked as a special effects technician (trainee) under a company called Motion Picture Effects South Africa (MPESA). this job exposed him to more of the beauty and creativity of the story telling industry in a digital form/movies. He regards himself as a free thinker, yet he ascribes to the belief of the creator as the main cause and source of everything in the universe. Hence his work reflects this balanced kind of thinking.
He is an introvert yet he enjoys public speaking, His hobbies include story telling, gardening, baking; cooking; reading and drawing. Writing has been his passion since he was ten years old. He writes using his real name Vusumuzi DS Makhubo but when performing in public he uses his AKA “Verbal Arsenal”, this nickname originates from his central belief that words are the most powerful weapons available to all of us not only for fighting but for self defense (debate) and for arming others and ourselves with knowledge.
Vusumuzi sees himself writing for the television and film industry in the near future. He is currently working on a cartoon movie script. He believes in empowering and motivating the youth. In the year 2009 he started a performing arts group of young people called Kabelano SA Skills Academy that focused on poetry, dance and music.
Vusumuzi sees himself growing as a writer and learning from other writers too.