we were given deadlines to submit our reasons for doing “buttock enlargement” & we tendered that it was because God told us that we have gigantic seats of greatness. we know better than to share the seats of our greatness with our ancestors or the gods our fathers served. / & since they never sat on any, they just could wake up one morning to wearing a well-tailored jealousy like kaftans. / thing is, when the gods are high on their libido & their wives had strayed by the footprints of their promiscuous reverends, they convert their urges into grudges, initiate a brutal journal, & then with charms, call for buttock submissions via submittable — / we have heard of rimi; the god who tries to carve its hands to look like the hand of God, / we know of perlitlah; the goddess who tries to wear the left eye of God, / we know xydot; the god who did surgery to sound like the voice of God, / we know kidemah; the goddess who will soon grow weary of knocking at the door of God’s armpit, / we know of yinux; the god who attempts to live inside the body of God’s shadow, / heard of bacchus; the dipsomaniac, asmodi; the goddess of sexual libation, anyanwu; the sun god, amadioha; the craftsman of thunder & lightning, / & orunmila; the sage amongst the irunmole & the mediator between the gods & the people… // these bad guys answer our fathers when they dash their lungs away & rend their throats in unison, soloing spells in-between mouthfuls of voodoos / as dark messengers on death-spirited tasks; / sooner or sooner, [y]our fathers will come with the gods [again] / like santa claus & his elf, / to share [y]our seats of greatness & bribe you/us with presents because they have no future [& do not want you/us to, too.] / but our buttocks would not be in tandem with their submission guidelines — so, it is safe to say, “we outsmarted the gods.”

 

*********

Photo by Marianna Smiley on Unsplash