first time flying home knowing
you won’t be there
crossing the first stretch of Atlantic
the air shifts
like time reconstitutes when a parent passes
how was it when you crossed by ship
60 years back
*
in transit planning a feast for you
I realise I bought nuts but not fruit
some of your disappointments
teaching with your all but not being promoted
being abandoned
regrets
abandoning
not being able to engage in the end
passions exploring exchanging
pleasures radio jogging tenting drinking
chagrins
leaving Africa for a better future
watching your grown child leave for Africa
*
the wine of Africa’s Europe tastes different
in Europe
you would’ve caught this
had you visited
the veg meal on the plane was pulled jackfruit biryani
an original hybrid like us
salt and pepper didn’t come so I requested them along with
more wine and cheese
the Persians would applaud
but was this excessive
in Christian South Africa the after tears follow
I am always somehow backward
my latest paper on the excesses of the African elite
the first you and I will never discuss
how I long to dance Burial with other diasporics
*
your youngest granddaughter now dances and sings
hot Afrobeats in global tongues
I sing them now watching Peter Sedutia’s Aloevera
a woman in the film asks a man why he lied
his response it came naturally
a headmaster who likes free labour
a village divided because it couldn’t
let go
was there really a time when divisions could be sutured by love
letting go
ma’ano for the Anishnabek Cree
what you and I shared
the last time we met
thank you for waiting
*
16 young men at a picnic in Moshi
one waving at the camera
gramophone-piercing piccolo trumpet of ancient Egypt
stealing away me and my first dance partner
fire in your eyes
mixed with rare eland calm
after our climb to Mandara
coffee tea spices mogo in a Munnar market and pure exuberance in
the last postcard you sent me
billet doux
I send you
only
here
*
lifting my baggage
I put something out
today it has loosened
imagine being unfit for a fitness buff’s funeral
rock hard and cold surrendered at last to your softness
I am grateful to hug you farewell
COVID fear absent this time
*
body turned to Rockies river green
magpie flying frozen sky
wildebeests zebras gazelles plying Serengeti
how you felt stranded starved not making tracks
your ultimate act
penultimate માફી
final migration sole liberation
questions of the world
fed to the breeze
_______________
Glossary
Anishnabek Cree: A first nation of Turtle Island now known as North America
Mandara: First base camp of Mount Kilimanjaro
Mogo: Kiswahili for cassava
માફી: Gujarati for Maafi, an Islamic act of asking for forgiveness. Various groups of Muslims do this in different ways at different life moments.
Photo by Salimah Valiani
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