I want to maim my words because I’m too kind to maim others with my words
How else can I sing sorrowful songs when my lips are sutured together
With an unspoken promise not to hurt
My teeth cage my tongue lest I lash out words that turn hearts into stones

You chose a sunny day to break me apart
For a long time I became a prisoner in my house and I feared
That I had developed photophobia
When the season was over, my smile became unreachable
Like the kite we flew as children –
It just disappeared into thin air

I used to bathe in the melody of raindrops pattering against my roof

I finally learnt to live with your absence haunting my senses
You were like that jewellery piece
Father gifted mother on their thirtieth anniversary –
Beautifying my existence but etching bruises on my life

Now you spiral back into my life like a tornado

There’s something in your eyes that extinguishes my breath
There was a time I craved your fragrance on my skin but now
I have become claustrophobic in any space we share

And my heart thumped so loudly – that I could hear it
Over the whistling of the train on the railway –
The moment the test results indicated that
We would be spending the rest of our time away from each other

White has become my favourite colour

Your hands are flattened against the window and I watch
Tears stream down your face
It reminds me of the rain drops that trickled down my window
Offering me sympathy while I let out tears of anguish

In a few days, I’ll be six feet away from you

My smile has floated away for many nights
Now it has found its way home

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Photo by Allec Gomes on Unsplash