David

It’s 2024 so you don’t watch the news on TV anymore. Trending updates appear when you scroll through Instagram. There he is again. Posed with a cigar in his hand, a feathery purse on the other. This time, he has adorned himself with all sorts of jewellery to complement the cropped jacket and long plaid skirt.

Your guilty pleasure. Your favourite influencer too. You’ve always wondered how he does this. How he exposes himself. Strips himself bare for the world to consume. You could never. You could never be like him. In fact, you condemned people like him. His very existence was against nature. “For God’s sake, it’s in the Bible!” you say to yourself.

Yet, there you were. The third time this morning, on this influencer’s page. You’ve imagined what your life would be like if you were him. You were always happy in those daydreams. And then when you wake up, you’d whisper, “God forbid.”

If you were stronger, you would have done some physical labour to block out those thoughts. If you didn’t care so much for how you look, you would have taken a walk to clear your head. But by the time you’re done getting yourself ready, you would have forgotten why you needed the walk in the first place. Such a long pleasuring process.

But then again, these things don’t define who you are. They don’t mean you’re like him. You know who you are. You know what you are. And you are exactly like him, with the feathery purse and the long plaid skirt.

 

Dami

Seven thousand likes in 2 hours. You knew the pictures were amazing. But the comments…

phil_007: abomination
jenni.peters.11: may God have mercy on you
user10475689: make them burn this one na
Jjjerome_the: we have lost a brother

You never read the comments. No matter how good they were, or bad. They’d never understand. Constantly living in fear. Constantly questioning everything. All for what? “Freedom,” you’d say. But were you really free? Were you even happy?

You tell yourself that it wasn’t for you. That it was for the ones like you, searching for someone who made it out. You would be their role model. They’ll see you, unashamed and thriving, and they would try too.

What they would never know is that it wasn’t because you were confident. It was because you were fighting. It was because you would rather die than go back to that familiar heaven. It was safe, yes. But it was nothing close to heaven. It was dark and dusty. Suffocating and frightening. Out here however, outside the closet, it was wild but you could breathe. It was bright and you could see and move.

And so, because of this alone, you would keep on being extra. Whenever it was needed and especially whenever it was not. You would put yourself out there in the most absurd attires, whatever it was.

So, you pin the post and share it on your IG story with the caption, “Feathers and plaids are my new identity.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Photo by Liz Rodriguez on Unsplash