I admit to being afraid of a lot of things—imaginary and real
My childhood continuously colours my present
It’s so easy to waiver under the gaze of my doubts
I welcome my fear and whisper white lies about loving her
But when she looks at me, I bite down hard on my lips
So they don’t tremble in her presence
Today, I met my fear heading towards me with death on her shoulder
She carried nails, a cross and a bleak future lettered to me
I could not bear the burden she softly revealed to me
Oh God! To love so ardently, so ferociously, so dotingly, so softly
And not be loved back in a quarter of a measure
To die a thousand times under the gaze of empty eyes
While mine reflects love filled to the brim
To be filled with love, that it bleeds out of my pores
And unto the skin of a porous lover
I am terrified like a leaf caught in a storm
For I have the temperance to love to imperfection
I flawlessly offer love deeply from within my bones
I give myself hopelessly to love and become
Stubbornly bound to hope in love
If my love said to wait for a while, I would wait until forever
Steadfastly sitting by the door and hoping that the next face I see is his
Like a child, I laid my head on the bosom of my fear
And plead that this cup passes me by

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Photo by zainab mlongo on Unsplash