Slavoj Zizek: “I Cannot Have One-Night Stands”

Three-times divorced. Hates students. Has published about 75 books on politics and philosophy. Has these tics that makes him remind me of Magwitch in Great Expectations. Has these set of jokes and illustrations he recycles ANYTIME he speaks publicly–TV, Podcast, University lectures, etc. He stores his clothes–mostly t-shirts–in his kitchen cabinets. They call him the Borat of Philosophy. I think he looks like the marionnette version of Hagrid in Harry Potter. He is Slavoj Zizek. He’s loved by the occupy movement. Hated by liberals. But what’s his sex life like?

Annal sex? “Ah, anal sex. You know why not? Because I couldn’t convince myself that she really likes it. I always had this suspicion, what if she only pretends, to make herself more attractive to me? It’s the same thing for fellatio; I was never able to finish into the woman’s mouth, because again, my idea is, this is not exactly the most tasteful fluid. What if she’s only pretending?”

“Not exactly the most tasteful fluid? How would he know?

“I cannot have one-night stands. I envy people who can do it; it would be wonderful. I feel nice, let’s go, bang-bang – yes! But for me, it’s something so ridiculously intimate – like, my God, it’s horrible to be naked in front of another person, you know? If the other one is evil with a remark – ‘Ha ha, your stomach,’ or whatever – everything can be ruined, you know?” Besides, he can’t sleep with anyone unless he believes they might stay together for ever. “All my relationships – this is why they are very few – were damned from the perspective of eternity. What I mean with this clumsy term is, maybe they will last.”

I want to say, awwwwww. But I’m just not buying it.

No Match.com for Zizek

He’s appalled by the promise of dating agencies to “outsource” the risk of romance. “It’s no longer that absolute passion. I like this idea of sex as part of love, you know: ‘I’m ready to sell my mother into slavery just to fuck you for ever.’ There is something nice, transcendent, about it. I remain incurably romantic.”

Of course he wraps up his reflection on sex, love, and philosophy by calling his ex-wife “the bitch who claims to have been my wife.”

For the rest of the fabulous interview by Decca Aitkenhead of the UK Gaurdian, click HERE. .