Screen Shot 2015-09-17 at 9.29.15 PM

When I said I was leaving you
What I really meant was:
I am afraid of heights.
My body once survived a plane crash,
so you shouldn’t have swept me off my feet,
I still fear anything that requires me to be lifted from the ground.

I have spent the past few days berating myself,
reminiscing about how we spent most nights laughing till the
back of our ears hurt until our voices turned into silent squeals
Reminiscing about how ensconced we felt in the safety net of our arms,
in the knowing that our souls felt like Siamese twins

ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW

But, I am still here,
using my uncertainties to power an engine of
excuses for why we never made it past here.

When I said I was leaving you
What I really meant was:
My past is a magnet that attracts me to emergency exit doors.
So do not over examine the footprints I’ll be leaving behind
or worry about the height I’ll be falling from,
I always have a parachute hidden inside my mouth just in case.

ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW

When I said I was leaving you
What I really meant was:
I place expiry dates on lovers who travel into my life
and you have reached the end of your visitation period

When I said I was leaving you
What I really meant was:
I am a runway
I love the view of men taking off from me

When I said I was leaving you
What I really meant was:
I am scared.
I am afraid of heights,
so you can take off without me.

 

********

Post image titled Ijeoma I & II, 2013 by Duke Asidere via African Digital Art

 

About the Author:

Portrait - LolaTheresa Lola is a Nigerian British Poet residing in London. She first gained recognition with her poem “Bring Back Our Girls” about the Boko Haram kidnapping of the 300 girls from Chibok which garnered international responses. Her poems are mostly centered around love, loss, womanhood, race and culture. In the 2014, she was published in the anthology Essence of Love.