Have you ever wondered what it would feel like to have unshakeable self-belief? To be able to say, ‘This is what I want to do,’ and have everything within you – body, mind and soul – conspire to make it happen? That’s confidence. It’l the belief that you are capable of succeeding in whatever you want to do in life and become whoever you want to be. It’s more than a belief, it’s a practice, so have hope, because it can be built with awareness and intentionality. Confidence is a never-ending journey. It’s a journey that is bumpy at times, but it is the most enlightening rewarding, and life-changing journey you’ll ever embark on. Trust me, I’ve been on it for years now.

Most people think I’m a confidence coach because I’ve just always been confident my whole life, but it’s actually the exact opposite. I’m a confidence coach because I know exactly what it feels like to have a Mean Girl in your mind, a voice that is sabotaging an judgemental of everything you do. I know what it’s like to look in the mirror and hate what you see. I know what it’s like to live in fear of what others might think. I know what it’s like to think, ‘You’re not skinny enough, talented enough, skilled enough, creative enough.’ That was the narrative over and over again. For the longest time I fought to prove to myself and the people around me that I had something to offer. I was an over-achiever and a people-pleaser. I strived to be seen as the ‘good girl’ because I thought, ‘Theres nothing special about me, but at least I can make my parents proud by being good.’ I thought that was the best I could do.

I was wrong.

My ‘wake-up’ moment happened when I discovered the world of personal growth thanks to my mum, who gave me a copy of 15 Laws of Growth by John Maxwell for my 21st birthday.

Now before I go any further, I’d like to say there are actually two parts to my awakening, and I’d be doing my faith a disservice if I didn’t talk about the part spirituality played alongside the personal accountability I took in my growth. If you’re not a spiritual person or you don’t believe in God, that’s fine, there’s still something to learn from my personal story, so please stay with me and I promise not to shout, ‘Repent or die!’ through a megaphone.


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Excerpt from CONFIDENT AND KILLING IT published by HQ, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers Ltd. Copyright © 2022 by Tiwalola Ogunlesi.