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city-of-lagos

Lagos will not make me go mad. Really, to survive in this city, one has to be crazy.

I wasn’t sure if I was going mad on Monday evening. The worst thing was I couldn’t turn to anyone to ask questions. I barely have a phone. Besides, this was a matter you don’t want on speaker or something.

This is what happened.

This dude passing by bumped into me really hard. He didn’t have to because there was enough room for him to conveniently pass by. But no, he had to ram into my right side, giving my right shoulder a knock so sudden that I couldn’t even find my words.

The way he looked back at me made me feel like he expected me to say something. Like it was intentional and he was waiting for my reaction. I’m not sure why I felt that way. I looked at him and kept on walking. No time for unnecessary arguments.

Then the thought dropped in. What if it really were intentional. What then could be his aim? Am I missing something here?

(Pun intended)

Isn’t this the typical story of how won mu oko“?

I wanted to laugh, but it’s kinda not funny. I Kept walking but the feeling wouldn’t go away. How do you know how to know when such happens.

Right at that moment I wasn’t so sure I could feel my member…you know, down there. Trying to touching myself while walking in broad day life was a bit clumsy, but I did managed to make contact.

The second level of fear caught on

It felt like it had been dethroned, like it was somewhere else, sobbing in a corner. I tried to get my mind off it, searching for whatever else to erase the thought  from my head. I forgot about it soon enough and started thinking about money and this boo-less sojourn called life.

But you know this kind of thing doesn’t really leave the mind.

I got home and got undressed then it knocked. Yes, member is alive in its constituency. But it occurred to me that penis-stealing could take other forms. What if it refuses to stand?

I initiated a urination session. That test passed. So I thought maybe it’s about arousal—*coughs*—so I watched a couple of videos, you know. Member active and seeking congress.

It appears nothing had happened.  But this is what Lagos has done to me. Anything can happen here—spiritual, physical, whatever.

Just a week and some days ago I got robbed in a bus at gunpoint. It was almost unreal. I have always heard of it and seen it in Nollywood. It is sometimes made to seem like the victims were careless or well, ‘na spiritual something.’ Then it happened to me. It might be superstitious but really what happens ti won baa mu oko? Anyone please*?

 

*I don’t feel like transliterating. Add it to the madness of Lagos.

 

**********

Image by Robert via Flickr.

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I hold a doctorate in English from Duke University and recently joined the Marquette University English faculty as an Assistant Professor. I love teaching African fiction and contemporary British novels. Brittle Paper is the virtual space/station where I play and experiment with ideas on how to reinvent African fiction and literary culture.

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