Lovers are ridiculous. Against reality, lovers continue to believe that they can be loved the way they love. Could they possibly not know one of the most scandalous of love’s secrets? Love cannot be reciprocated and the reason lies in the difference between the lover and the beloved.
Does this surprise you? Aristotle loved the lover because he thought the lover was far greater than the beloved. Loving is action. And it’s better to act that to be acted upon. If love is blind, loving is not. The lover always knows, for its the lover that does all the desiring. Loving is a risk, which the lover alone takes. Not so with the beloved, who cannot help being loved. Whether the beloved rejects or accepts the lover, it’s all in reaction to the lover’s actions. How do you tell someone not to love you? I guess you have the option of becoming less lovable. Still, the outcome does not depend on you. Most shockingly, the beloved is logically incapable of loving. The logic of love boils down to this: the lover loves the beloved, not vice versa.
The deluded lover is blind to all this and demands, “I give you my love, so give me your love.” First of all, there is no perfect exchange in love. All exchanges are approximations. Something is always added and lost in transmission. So that even if the beloved could give my love back to me, it would not be the same love. It might be something different, worse, better, but never the same.
But if relationships are about playing the part of lover and beloved, who says anyone has to be stuck in the same role? After all, a good relationship is all about switching things up a bit.
LOVE ACTUALLY is a series. It’s what happens when love and relationship issues meet pop-philosophy.
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