Hands clasped, trembling like autumn leaves
You’d think I was convulsing
Desperation, an eager lover strips away the garments of ego and self-worth,
Leaving me stark and bare before him
Brokenness, a cruel mistress beckons me down the forgotten path,
A road once trod with high hopes on the cross, only to beget incredulity.
Heart heavy, weighed down by the anchors of sorrow
The trinity of trust, once a beacon of promise now a distant memory
Having savored the bitter taste of disappointment,
I know the flavor that accompanies it.
Having beheld the hues of pain and failure,
I know they are not great combos
So forgive me if I neglected this path, for the whispers of hypocrites
Still echo in my mind. “Faithless” they hiss with indignation.
Eyes cast down, sunken like wells of disappointment
My faith was a withered garden, parched and malnourished,
While fear bloomed like a weed, its potbelly bursting with anxiety.
In my belly is a river of crass and honest questions
Threatening to flow into torrents of blasphemy.
Mouth quivering, whispering desperate pleas
Flickering to life and refusing to be tamed was a fiery desire like the burning bush
My stomach churned with a traitor’s growl,
A Judas kiss of betrayal that left me hollow
Tears cascaded like a prodigal’s return, a deluge of despair that would not be silenced
Shattering the shackles of quietude
Unleashing a maelstrom of cries, a symphony of screams, a chorus of screeches
Passed the point of restraint
Was a vessel overflowing with anguish, a lonely heart that demanded answers,
A damned soul that begged for a response, perhaps a sign.
But no, all I got was a deafening silence.













Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash