Dear Daughter,

I love this stage of girlhood that you are experiencing. The way you bounce around the room because the energy you hold is too much to contain. Never let anyone tell you that you’re too much. You’re perfect, just the way you are.

I love that you are getting a healthy sense of what it means to be a girl – that you can be strong, love pink, and grow things. You’re only five years old, and you already have a better relationship with your body than I did at your age. You can run – and as you like to remind me, are faster than most of the boys in your taekwondo class. Being sporty at your age is only one of the reasons why you can flex your little muscles to show me proof of your strength, and ‘win’ when we arm wrestle. You started learning to swim at the age of three, and now you’re way faster than I am in the pool. Although truth be told, I am not much of a swimmer. Already, you are so much better than I am in so many ways, and isn’t that what every mother wants for her child? That her daughter’s life is an improvement on her own existence, and that of her entire matrilineal line.

Being your mother has changed my life, and my work. I used to think that I could only speak about sex and sexuality with women my own age, but in mothering you, I am constantly reminded of the importance of speaking to young girls about their bodies – and how powerful they can be. Above all, I want you to know that your body is yours. Always remember this Asantewaa, your body is your own. Your body is strong, and powerful. Your body can be a powerful vehicle to experience joy, pleasure, and all the goodness that this world has to offer. “Mummy, what is a vehicle?” I can imagine you asking. A vehicle is a car, but in the way I just used that word, it means “a way to feel good in your body”. I know you already know what feels good in your body because you laugh when I tickle you, and you prefer to wash your vulva yourself because it feels ticklish when other people do so.

A lot of girls your age don’t know what a vulva is, some girls even have part of their vulvas cut which is a very cruel thing to do. It’s part of the reason why Mummy likes to work with a group called Purposeful. They work with girls all around the world so they can be even stronger, and more powerful than they already are. In a country called Sierra Leone, Purposeful has worked with over 15,000 girls who are now stronger, and even more powerful than before. Some of those girls, just like you, understand that their bodies are special, and that no one has any right to hurt them in any way. Other girls have been able to make and save some money, which means they have more control over their own lives. Probably, best of all, these girls are now more confident – that means they know they can do anything they set their minds to. Just like you can.

Always remember that Mummy loves you, and all the other African girls all over the world. You are all strong, beautiful and powerful beyond measure.

Love,
Nana Darkoa

 

This letter commemorates Purposeful’s latest publication Building Girls’ Power in Sierra Leone: The Impact of Five Years of Theory into Practice, which can be downloaded for free here.

 

The cover image is titled “Girls Behind the Lens” and the author photo is by Charles Lawson.