You have probably read a few different articles on lesbianism, but I bet you have not seen the exclusively ‘Naija’ version. That is why I’m here, to tell you. You see, I’m a Nigerian, over here we call our country Naija for short. Everything in Naija is usually different, including lesbianism. In this essay, I will describe the social and cultural issues associated with lesbianism in Naija, with an infusion of humor (hopefully).

It is only in my country you will find the word lesbian being used as both a slur, or an insult while being simultaneously synonymous with witchcraft. As a lesbian, you will be called a liar, immoral, possessed, cursed, evil, ruined, anything but the sweet woman-loving child of God that you are. Thus, if you stroll around the cities here, you will discover many closets, chains and binds, aunties and mothers cosplaying straightness out of necessity, sapphics held captive for daring to exist in their nature, tied by fear, trapped with the burden of condemnation. When will we be free?

If a Naija lesbian tells you she is going through a lot, know that it can be anything from being disowned to her parents attempting to take her for deliverance, to a breakup because the love of her life decided to marry a man, or she has fallen in love with yet another straight or bi-curious woman, knowing but somehow not believing that she deserves a healthy loving committed relationship with someone who actually sees a future with her. You see, conditioning is very heavy over here. The majority of people are very hetero-focused, not only in the “heterosexuality is the widely accepted sexuality kind of way,” but in that lesbianism also isn’t thought to be real, proper, normal, thus when seen, is met with mostly a great deal of apathy. It is as harmful as it is sad. I want a Nigeria where lesbians can exist freely without their nature being deemed unnatural, we deserve a country where our existence is not a taboo.

The Naija lesbian dream is merely to freely be able to love her woman (or women). It is not funny how so many lesbians never get to kiss their lover in public, hold her hand or introduce her as anything but a friend to their families. It is not funny how many lesbians are discriminated against, harassed, ridiculed for their identity with statements like, “so you no like man at all, try find one man, every woman needs a man,” forced to hide who they are because they will never be accepted, or even worse they might outrightly be severely harmed, told to tone it down or wait to move abroad before we can exist. It is not funny how much the fight for our liberation feels so much like a fight for our lives on most days.

It is, however, uplifting how brave, colorful and resilient lesbianism in Nigeria has been. One of the major oppositions you will hear from homophobic Nigerians is that “woman following woman is not our culture,” and, to this, Naija lesbians call foul. At parties you will find many lesbians enthusiastically joining the crowd and singing along to Rema’s “I too like Woman” song with a vigorous passion fellow party goers may not understand, in safe spaces you will find lesbians ‘lesbianing’ loudly, and it is not uncommon to find the lesbian flag colours in the social media bios of many Naija lesbians.

We are part of the future Ancestors, we contribute to African culture and we are creating better norms and traditions where all humans are respected and treated equally. Those who are bigoted and ignorant will learn. We are fighting the rhetoric that homosexuality is unAfrican, thriving tremendously and claiming our right to live and exist as African lesbians, because that is our heritage.